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I went to church every Sunday growing up
I often wondered about the voices of the angels
That perfect vision is still intact to me
Alas, yours is not, because you're not as hot as you sound.
I called to check on the delivery status of my blender
You answered and I was like "this chick is definitely hot."I totally pictured you as a blonde
You're not, nor are you as hot as you sound
Look, I'm totally normal - you offered your full name
Seriously, what kind of Customer Service Rep
Has a LinkedIn profile with a picture, anyway?
The ugly ones that sound younger than they really are, apparently.
It's not like you have to worry about me, or anything
Google Maps says it would take 21 hours and 11 minutes for me to get to your office
And I am not renewing my PeopleFinder subscription to get the home address
Of a girl who is not as hot as she sounds
So though we will never meet
I want you to know
That although you are not as hot as you sound
I would still totally do you
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