Commuting

Recently, I figured out a really great way to blow off some of the steam that we can all accumulate due to road rage. Like a lot of you, I know how hard it can be to deal with the stress, anger and incontinence of a daily commute, well, that is - I did before I came up with this program! And now I'm sharing it with you! "What's the charge," you ask? Consider this just another gift from me to you.

This particular solution was first applied to the driver of a 2007 BMW 3 Series, MA plate DRPKCK - but I've used it on a few other drivers since, and as long as you use this on a man (you'll see why below) I'm sure it will work for you, too!

First, choose the object of your aggression. Karma would dictate that a driver who has vehicular-ly wronged you in some way would be the most appropriate target, but we're here to deliver some Karma, not to listen to it.

Now, once you've found your mark, it's as easy as following them home. "Wait," you say, "I'm not the confrontational type." No worries, my friend, neither am I! In fact, all you need to do is find out where they live. Once you see them pull into their driveway, make note of the address - you'll need that later. Okay, go back and find that address. Good.

The next step is to go through your victim's mail and determine their name. Getting the first name is crucial, so make sure you have the correct age. "Wait," you say, "how can I determine the age?" Easy. Just avoid names like Madison, Jake, Emma, Tyler, etc. Those are obviously the asshole's kids. Now that you have the name, we're almost done!

Simply plug the first name of your target into the form letter below, print 100 copies and tape them to their front door, their back door, their windows, and leave a few on the lawn.
 
 
___________,
 
I can't believe it's come to this. You son of a bitch. I already hate myself enough for sleeping with a married man, but now I have to beg you to even TALK to me? After three months of what we've been through, and now it's like I'm dead? I HATE YOU. I can't believe I trusted you. I can't believe I thought this would work. And now you're HIDING from me because I just want you to pay for your half of the abortion?? If you don't meet me at our spot tomorrow with $125 and an apology, I will make sure your wife knows the truth about your "birthmarks."
 
I hate you.
 
Debbie.
 
That bastard will never cut you off again!