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Premakes

Not a remake, and not a prequel, a premake is a fresh take on the tired format of Hollywood regurgitation. Here, we take movies and television shows and re-imagine them as their non-existent "original." Sound stupid? It is!

I give you...Premakes.

الحوض (The Tub): A 2004 Palestinian short film about a bathtub in the middle of an abandoned field in the Gaza Strip, in which a boy plays and pretends the tub transports him to the time his family lived in Syria; before they moved to Gaza, and before his father was shot in that very field. Then, the boy gets shot, too. That's the premake for Hot Tub Time Machine!

El Toro (The Bull):  "El Toro" is the 1982 Mexican movie about the young son of a moderately successful bull fighter. The father is older, past his prime, and the son is a souvenir from a past flame with a much younger actress who has since died in a car accident. The father has little affection for the son, who in turn  focuses his attention on the animals. He develops a special fondness for one of the breeding cows to the point where he wishes he were a bull. Then on the day of his father's largest fight in quite some time, the son wakes up to find his wish has been granted! He is a bull! As he circles the pen with the other bulls, a drunken farm hand crashes his pick up truck into the prize bull - who was set to battle the father in the main bullfight that day - killing the animal, and mortally wounding the object of the young boy's desires. The boy/bull is then thrust into the stadium as the replacement bull, only to repeatedly refuse to charge his father. Eventually, the father grows disgusted with the bull and disposes of it via his pistola - unwittingly killing his son, and ruining his career. That is the premake of "Big", starring Tom Hanks!

GhostBoys: The 1979 South African film, where spirits haunt a Johannesburg ghetto to the point that little boys stand on street corners waiting for people to yell out "Go an boy in geyit de Ghostboys." The GhostBoys are 3 dudes who have retrofitted vacuum cleaners to suck up the spirits (one was a repair man) and then they secretly release them into the white part of town. Hijinks ensue! That would be the Ghostbusters premake.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Looking for a premake of "Streets of Fire", as it is a Rock & Roll fable.

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