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Hightower, Episode V, Part One

From The Journal of Dr. Rick Hightower, M.D., soon to be adapted into an ABC primetime drama entitled Hightower:

The city was buzzing. As I walked down the crowded Manhattan sidewalks, I noticed that I was surrounded by young, hot people. I also noticed some shady looking people, but that just reminded me that this city never sleeps. As I entered my building, I ducked into a side hallway and took the elevator up to our penthouse hideout headquarters. V.J. was taking in the nighttime views through our huge windows.

“It never sleeps, does it?” I asked.

"Nope," he replied, “and neither can we. I have something I want you to see.”

He brought me over to one of his computers, and brought up a picture of someone. “Who’s that?” I asked.

“It’s Chow Shen Shi. He’s one of the richest billionaires in China. He’s here in New York for a billionaire convention, and he’s asked a favor of us.”

“A favor," I asked, “What could he want from us?”

“He wants us to keep an eye on his nineteen year-old daughter.” With that, he pulled up another picture on his screen, and this one was of a smoking hot nineteen year old Chinese girl.

“Yes. Yes, tell me you said yes,” I said.

“I did,” he answered, “but there’s only one problem. She’s missing.”

“Missing?” I asked.

“Kidnapped,” he answered. “And here’s the catch: no ransom note, no nothing. It’s like she just vanished.”

“Hot girls like that don’t just vanish. Not on my watch.”

“Where are you going?” V.J. asked as I turned to leave.

“I’ve got a date. I’m going out for Chinese.”


I walked into the Zen Room; it was the hottest club in town. I knew we were in deep on this one, and I needed a drink to clear my head. I walked up to the bar, and slid in between two hot women.

“I’ll have a drink,” I said, and the bartender brought me one. I scanned the club, and noticed a Saudi Arabian gentlemen sitting at a V.I.P. table, surrounded by hot chicks. “That’s too many hot chicks,” I thought, “even for a billionaire.” I asked the bartender “Who is that gentleman over there?”

“Oh, him?” he answered. “That’s Prince Abdul Saleem. He’s a Saudi billionaire. Probably here for the convention, like the rest of them. I’d be careful, though…check it out.” He motioned to the men standing around Saleem, amongst all the hot chicks. They were wearing wired earpieces, and definitely packing heat. “Security,” I said.

“Yep,” the bartender answered. “I guess he needs it because he’s so rich.”

“Or maybe he needs it for something else,” I said. “Thanks for the drink.”

“No problem,” he answered.

“Not yet.”

I went back to the penthouse hideout headquarters. V.J. was tinkering with something in his workshop. “What’ve you got there, buddy?” I asked.

“It’s a prototype I’m working on in my spare time. I call it Robotic Unmanned Futuristic Undercover Spy, R.U.F.U.S. for short.”

“It looks like one of those robotic pet dogs from Japan,” I said.

“Exactly, but it’s much more than that. It can secretly spy on its surroundings, and send data back to us in real time. Pictures, video, audio, the works.”

“Impressive,” I said. I thought pretty hard for a moment, then said “And I have just the use for it. Why don’t you call up Mr. Shen Shi and ask him to invite us to the convention’s reception.”

“Hightower,” V.J. said “I doubt he wants to see us right now.”

“Don’t worry about it, buddy. Tell him we need to talk.”

“Am I going to find out about this plan?” he asked.

“Ok, here goes,” I said. “We’re going to meet with Mr. Shen Shi at the reception, and have him introduce us to Saleem.”

“Saleem,” V.J. asked, “who’s that?”

“A Saudi billionaire. Here for the convention, too. We’re going to give him a little welcoming gift.”

“What’s that?” V.J. asked.

“Man’s best friend,” I said, motioning to R.U.F.U.S.

“R.U.F.U.S?” V.J asked.

“Bingo,” I said. “Because if there’s one thing the Saudis love….”

“It’s technology,” V.J. said. “I'll call Shen Shi.”


We walked into the ballroom. It was packed with billionaires and their hot wives and mistresses.

“I feel like we’ve been here before,” V.J. said.

“You just find Shen Shi,” I answered.

“There he is. 'Mr. Shen Shi,'" he said, motioning to him “this is Hightower. We’re working around the clock to find your daughter.”

“I hope so,” Shen Shi said “my life is incomplete without her, like a flower with no petals.”

“Mr. Shen Shi,” I said, “Could you do me the honor of introducing me to Prince Abdul Saleem? We have a welcoming gift for him.”

“How unusual,” Shen Shi said, “but if this is your custom, of course.” We walked over to the prince and were introduced. V.J. explained why he was carrying a robotic dog around the ballroom.

“It’s for you, your honor,” I said.

“Ha ha!” laughed the prince. “It is perfect! What did you call this lovely robot beast again?”

“Ru…” V.J. started.

“Bowser,” I said. “His name is Bowser. Now excuse us, gentlemen, we have another engagement.” With that, we left.

“What was that about?” V.J. asked “You know that R.U.F.U.S. only answers to Rufus."

“Exactly,” I said. “What we need is for that dog to ignore its master and snoop around.”

“The old snoop dog,” V.J. said. “Perfect.”

“Let’s get back to the penthouse and wait for that little doggy to start talking.”

“You still haven’t told me what this is all about,” V.J. said.

“V.J.," I said, "Don’t beg.”


1 comment:

Smack said...

You've got the cornball one-liners down pat.


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