As Americans rejoice with the news that Amanda Knox will be returning to Seattle following the success of her appeal, Italians were horrified to learn that her evil, glowing spectre will remain in Italy to devour naughty children as they sleep.
Knox, 26, was released from custody today after a lengthy trial and appeals process, all of which has left her evil, glowing spectre quite upset, and hungry for vengeance in the form of naughty Italian children.
"Children and parents should be on high alert," remarked Perugia police lieutenant Luciano Comodi, "we are fairly certain this spectre intends to haunt us for many years to come."
Mothers took the spectre's announcement as an opportunity to remind their children to avoid mischievous behavior, and to properly behave at home, at church, and at school. The Vatican released a statement warning that teenagers should remain extra vigilant in resisting their lustful impulses, as Knox's spectre would surely punish those who give in to sin of any form.
The evil, glowing spectre of Knox's codefendant, Raffaele Sollecito, could not be reached for comment.