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Teen Jesus: Bethlehem P.I.

Chapter One: Olive Your Problems

Jesus slouched in his chair, weary from assisting Joseph with the large order of oxen carriage fittings that Joseph & "Son"'s Carpentry had been toiling over for days. Out his window, he heard footsteps approach from below. Moments later, there was a tap on his doorway. Before him knelt a young, beautiful woman.

"Please, rise woman," Jesus said. "No need to beg. What can I do for you? No, wait," he went on, "let me guess. I've got like a psychic thing. Your family farms olives, and you believe the Romans are cheating your father out of a healthy profit by skimming inventory for their own use at the Centurion Bath House. Am I close?"

"Oh my god," said the woman, "how did you know this?"

"I told you," Jesus replied. "Since my youth, I've known their was something different about me. I have psychic abilities, I'm incredibly smart, and a booming voice in my head is always giving me the perfect solution to whatever problem I'm facing. I figured I'd put these talents to the best use I can think of, which is why you're here."

"There were so many rumors about what made you the best private investigator in all of Galilee...," the woman said.

"Well, now you know," answered Jesus. "Now, let's go grab a drink and hammer out the details of your little problem, love."

"But we're not old enough to drink, where will you get the wine?" the woman asked.

"I have a little trick I'd like to show you" Jesus said, as he led her to the door...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Blasphemous. You have ruined church for me. Good job, jerkface. You've just created another secular progressive. I hope you are happy now. America is less of a nation thanks to you. Now, genius, care to tell me what to do with all of these anti-obamacare signs I've got in my basement? Crayons aren't cheap.


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