Can I Talk To You For A Moment?

Hi There,

You know, with today's fast paced life, we're all a little hectic, aren't we? It seems like we all spend the time that should be spent relaxing instead asking ourselves, "where did the time go?" I know this can seem like a frustrating, never ending cycle of unease and restlessness. And I know it can stop. How do I know this? Well, I used to have a traditional mattress. Then, I bought a Sleep Number Bed.

Then, I set my sleep number to 1,000,000,000.

You see, your Sleep Number is your own, personal guide to a perfect night's sleep. Your individual Sleep Number is achieved through a patented technology that allows you to select the distinct level of mattress firmness you desire, letting you finally achieve the ultimate in restful, healthy sleep.

When I first ordered my Sleep Number bed, I was naturally skeptical. I toyed around with 42, 58, 6, 90, I just couldn't seem to find the right number. But that's the beauty of a sleep number bed: it works with you to find exactly the right mattress firmness you need to live the sort of fulfilling, joyful life you desire.

Once I figured out how to tweak my Sleep Number to 1,000,000,000, things really started to change for me. I started urinating pure fire. Magnificent, golden flames began shooting from my penis every morning as I awoke.

With a sleep number bed, though, it's not just the things you notice right away, it's the little things. Like how I was actually floating six inches over my bed every night, in a fever dream of throbbing aggression. And my lower back pain was gone.

Those are just some of the life changing results you can expect from a Sleep Number bed. I know, you're wondering about your sleeping partner, and how they'll adjust to your Sleep Number bed.

My wife evaporated when she gazed upon the easy to use LCD Sleep Number remote control that I had set to 1,000,000,000. She literally turned into a cloud of restful, comforting wife vapors, which I inhaled and subsequently urinated in fire form after a rejuvenating, peaceful night's rest, spent hovering six inches over my Sleep Number bed.

So, think about your sleep. Think about your wife. Then, think about how a Sleep Number bed could help you achieve the relaxed, rested and fully transfomative life you've always desired. Then give us a call. There's no pressure, just a number. Just for you.

What's yours?